So freakin awesome!!!!!
PS this is totally safe for work
Wednesday, June 30
Star Wars Phone sex with out the sex
So freakin awesome!!!!!
PS this is totally safe for work
Sometimes you just gotta thrash
Working in a library you see a lot of crazy stuff but this is really cwazy.
Tuesday, June 29
This is grape!
It's funny the Lurker never saw this but I have saw all the references over the years to it. Here it is in all its uncomfortable glory.
Monday, June 28
Gawd Josh is a jerk
The Lurker is so not following this. If you get bored skip near the end where he talks about the X-box.
Best line at the end ever. I might have shirts made
Friday, June 25
Thursday, June 24
Wednesday, June 23
Chewbacca's girl
My girlfriend won't shave her wookie cookie (Hawthorne)
Date: 2010-06-22, 4:44PM PDT
Ever since she started playing softball, things have gotten out-of-hand. At first, she wanted to go with the team and drink after the game. Then when her Chevy Cavalier broke down, she bought a Subaru. After the, that nasty "mold-spore-floating-in-the-jar-that-looks-like-a-fucking-jellyfish-from-hell" tea appeared in our living room, and continues to grow tendrils. I think I know where our missing cat went. Speaking of cat, she adopted a dog after the cat went missing.
I am not a dog person.
3 weeks ago she stopped shaving: pits, legs, cleft, all of it now covered with wiry hair. Seriously, her snatch looks like it's wearing a hat made from a Brillo pad. And bathing? Once a week, because "our bodies exude natural oils that keep us clean." All I know is, now our bed smells like a goat's wallow, her tea mold spore keeps trying to get out of the jar and go find insects to snap out of the air with it's reptilian tongue, and her snatch smells like the Historic Wharf down in Newport. Every time she sits on the floor he dog keeps following her around and trying to roll on her crotch like there is a dead opossum in her panties. The smell of her pits nearly brings tears to my eyes, but her softball friends just smile and tell me that they're proud of her and how she is "showing MEN that she cannot be held down by their oppressive trappings." Trappings like bathing? Furniture? (Yeah, she sold my living room furniture and bought bean bags and a hanging papasan chair.) Keeping the snatch under control? Seriously, the Wookie cookie she is growing grosses me out most of all, I keep expecting it to talk to me in a voice like the Cooking Monster. *shudder*
Help, please, anything to decontaminate my girlfriend and cast out this demonic hippie funk!
* Location: Hawthorne
Tuesday, June 22
Monday, June 21
Friday, June 18
IMDB is not always the place to be
The Lurker has always wanted a posting on IMDB just because but when I compare myself to this person's credit I will pass.
Great bargain just for the story
Princess Cut Engagement Set - $2000
Date: 2010-06-17, 12:40AM EDT
Reply to: sale-cu9nc-1796190452@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Engagement Ring Set............New Never Used........Unlike the Bride to Be who I Found in the middle Gang Bang consisting of Four Black Males after arriving home early from an out of town business trip!
Thursday, June 17
Wednesday, June 16
Tuesday, June 15
Monday, June 14
Friday, June 11
Thursday, June 10
WTH??
ISO Talented Warrior
Date: 2010-06-07, 10:27PM PDT
Reply to: gigs-kyugp-1780893507@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
I seek out a talented warrior, preferable someone with excellent axe and shield skills, to challenge for a fight to the death. I am dying a slow and painful death and my religion frowns upon such an unworthy death. But a glorious death in battle grants me an eternity to Valhalla. I can pay you a hefty sum and some a percentage of my final assets for your services. Serious inquiries only, must be willing to sign a binding legal agreement. Thank you!
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: $12,000 +
Thank you new people
Hi all,
The Lurker just wanted to thank all the new people who have signed up to be Lurkerites on the site and on Facebook and Twitter. You know who you are.
Frankly I have nothing more to add. I just like seeing numbers go up.
Signed,
The Lurker
Wednesday, June 9
Tuesday, June 8
Wasting Time Volume 51
The Lurker will still be doing the video and other extras but i am bringing back the volumes so I can throw a bunch of the strange extra junk I find at you. So enjoy volume 51.
Sincerely,
The Lurker
- Gamma Rays
- The Lurker's Nightmares come true
- American Eagle making people appear offensively gay
- Found this on Reddit. It said "Gary Coleman had his coffin premade with his name on it"
- Camelflage...yeesh
- Oh BP you are a bitch!
- Homeless city guide symbols. Used by tramps and travelers alike.
- A collection of body stances while taking photos. Majority are Asian men
- Doesn't the Catholic church have editors?
- Great Biden photo.
- Who wouldn't want Sushi on a stick?
Monday, June 7
Keeping on the same subject
McHammer Tribute Band (Pittsburgh and Vicinity)
Date: 2010-05-31, 7:01PM EDT
Reply to: comm-mzucp-1768627049@craigslist.org
I am looking to start an McHammer tribute band.
I will be the hammer, so that part is taken (sorry, but you can't touch this).
However, I still need about a dozen people wearing balloon pants to dance around behind me while I do my thing.
I'm rather certain that we will be able to do this for a living, so if you've quit your job already, that's a plus.
Hit me up if you're interested.
* Location: Pittsburgh and Vicinity
Oh the pain of it all
The great guys from FFF have found a true gem, an anti MC Hammer video rap from a Christian rapper that is just so....um...hardcore?
Friday, June 4
Justin Beaver
From Craigslist:Justin Bieber Fan Club (Midtown)Date: 2010-06-02, 7:40PM EDT
Reply to: sale-7dr4d-1772294899@craigslist.org
I woke up from a night of drinking with a hangover and owning the domain:
justinbieberfanclub.org.
If you would like to purchase this domain name,
please e-mail me with an offer.
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
And for those not a fan enjoy this lovely video
PostingID: 1772294899
Iron Man 2 was great
OK stop being a douche about this. I have heard and read many times that Iron Man 2 wasn't that good or as some put it as good as the first one. Mrs. Lurker and I saw it the other night and enjoyed the hell out of it. Is as good as the first one? NO but then what is?I loved the first one because it is an origin story. I think it was a perfect sequel. Was it better than most movies out? Hell yes! So knock the crap out and just enjoy the damn movie. And grab yourself a bag of popcorn.
Thursday, June 3
Wednesday, June 2
Why in the hell is someone playing this?
'Sack Tapping' -- A Schoolyard Game Turned Ugly. Read all about it here.
The Lurker has no idea why you would do this
Tuesday, June 1
A thank you to Mr. Coleman
At first when I heard Gary Coleman died I was more concerned about the death pool than anything else. Also I have to admit that over the years he had become a punchline or just a funny cameo. However the more I thought of him the more the Lurker realized that I just happened to catch his show at the right age. I, if you forgive the pun, looked up to him. He was the best thing I had ever seen. I loved the sarcasm and the one liners that would become his catch phrases. Later I would realize it was a decent sitcom for the time but there was much better comedy to be had but that does not diminish the show in my eyes. So often media, books, TV, ect..., is all about when you see it. Timing is everything.
So I would like to express genuine sadness that he is gone. I thank him for his part in leading me down the comedy path.
For the video The lurker chose his cartoon that now almost seems ironic.
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