Hey Aaron....

Is you need a friend?

a melancholy lurker

A while back I mentioned that the Lurker received a pink slip along with Mrs. Lurker. Both of our jobs are secure. My Library I work for is splitting into two groups. I am remaining with the original one. I have been teaching at all the other branches for about 5 years. I have one more branch to go to on Monday and then essentially I am grounded. The Lurker didn't think he would be too sad but I do find myself in a funk after teaching at the last two branches. I will miss the location and the interaction with all the staff. I wish them all well on their new adventure.
Things change sometimes for the better and I hope that is what this will be for but it still leaves you disliking the necessity. Sorry for the downer of a post but today the Lurker is a sad panda.

I can give very seductive eye contact...take 2

Sorry Lurkerites. The Lurker screwed up and put the wrong video on the post. Shall we try again?
Many times have I posted video of men saying dumb thing to the camera and now it is time for a feminine touch.

Oh turn down the sound or for the rest of the day you will hear bimbo.

update

The Lurker had a good driving record and was let off. What was the violation? The Lurker had an extra strength Americano and had gone into road rage mode trying to get around a slow moving behemoth and while hyped up I ran a red light. Not good I know but it happens.

Not sure what they are going for here

Apparently women love their burgers. Is Burger Kings target audience truly young blond women? Or are they large beefy overweight men? Maybe instead of making some penis shaped burger make a vagina shaped one. This will at least bring in more homophobes. "I AINT eaten no dick burger!" EGAD! This add does do what it says and blows the Lurker's mind. I believe it even surpasses McDonald's advertisement a while back.

The Lurker believes they need to get retro and bring back the stuff that brought me there all the time. A strange clown who hung out with stranger friends. Come on guys bring back the old ads and the Lurker might stop in everyone once in a while. I put this one up recently and I love the jingle.

Side note: When I have a major migraine I desperately crave McDonald's fries and a coke. So oily, salty and delicious. All the brains foodie sensors at once.

Just the freakin best

If you haven't seen this yet give it a watch. It is excellent.
This is Hodgman's speech at the 2009 Radio and TV Correspondents' Dinner. Obama's speech is equally good but hodgman kicks ass.

No more Publisher's Clearing House sweepstakes from this man

Ed McMahon dies at 86 and no one had him on the death bet.

The lurker awaits judgement

At this moment the lurker is awaiting his chance to explain his traffic violation. The judge has yet to arrive and that leaves those waiting for a hearing in suspense. It is a most strange thing here. Totally quiet except for some murmurs or the jangle of pocketbook. Until suddenly a Nintendo DS rings out. Everyone laughs and the tenseness goes away for a moment. The judge should enter in second. Wish me luck lurkerites.

aka big head

Finally a place that I can shop for my furniture.

Con is short for convict right?

Sometimes it is good to see the other sides's views and sometimes it is not. This one of those no no times. The Lurker could not help but check off the amount of stuff he disagreed with.
Couple of other things:

1. If you made it all the way through congrats. You are a better man than me. Also the last full minute is completely blank showing all their mad editing skillz.
2. This was the best comment I read on the video's page. This is to youtube as the holocaust is to world history.

another installment of freaky friday

The Lurker discovered this morning that his most favorite comedian in these United States has a Twitter feed. That's right Sarah "Gosh darnit" Palin has a feed. Unfortunately it is boring as hell so I went looking and found this from those elitist bastards the New York Times. Oh wait the Lurker is one of the elitist bastards. OK well the New York Times has a great video of all the people protesting Letterman because of the Palin controversy. If you have no idea look it up. The Lurker better not be your only news source. Seriously that would be sad as hell. Several things to look for here while watching

• "Do you know what that is in Jewish." I love this woman. She is a New Yorker and as well all know only Jews live in New York so they all speak in Jewish. The language the poor deluded train wreck of a woman is referring to is Yiddish or possibly Hebrew. She has much more to say through the video.
• Watch also for the rape by mouth comment. Who doesn't want a rape by mouth t-shirt? The Lurker can see a whole line of merchandise. Maybe a video game.
  
• While listening to the rape stuff go back and watch the two guys in the back right.
• Leno really? I thought these people would be Daily Show people
• The white guy with the black lady is priceless
  

Thank you Sarah Palin and all your wonderful supporters. No writer or true comedian can be as good as you. May the white non Jewish Jesus Christ who loves all babies till we kill them in war bless you.

OK sorry for that bit getting all pissy. Oh and sorry for the lame commercial in front of the video.

Everybody loves a winner

The more I look at it the more it looks like he is throwing up nylon. Or maybe it is a snake. Not sure but the Lurker would personally like to thank the internets for this one.

You did it!

Just the best commercial for a drink. So strange and perfect.

Ventures guitarist Bob Bogle dies at 75

One of the most notable theme songs Hawaii 5-0 was done by this guy and his band. Check the story here.

	The Ventures - Hawaii Five-O
	Found at skreemr.com

a real life goblin

The Lurker came across this and was immediately captivated. I don't watch Scrubs but why would you if you knew you were sharing the same grip on comedy as this guy. Whatever you do DON'T look INTO his EYES!!! That's how he gets you!

WTF

A while back a friend wanted to start her own blog and asked the Lurker how to make it successful. Blogger recommends three things for a great blog Brevity, frequency and Personality. These are all good but the Lurker's real advice to her was simple "mention princess Leia." I just checked and princess Leia is a full 4% of what people searched for and got to my site. 1% is also Lisa Simpson sex or porn. Very soon I will put a list of the searches that get people to the site. As a lurker you come across the strange and deranged but sometimes you just have to wonder WTF!
I should mention that 4% is above people searching for internet lurker.

When good marketers get awesome

The Lurker has always loved commercials. When I see a really original and great one I get very excited and force everyone to watch it. I wish we had voting ads like this.
I just watched it again and I still laughed.

Almost gave me a heart attack!

This strikes the Lurker as not the best place to pull this off. It is kind of like pranking a funeral. Oh well.

It's not always good to be the first

The lurker teaches computers at a Library. It is not this library but it is close. This is just one of the uses computers can be put to in a library. One of the women featured here is a crazy person. See if you can spot her.

Freaky Friday

The Lurker saw this guy about two weeks ago and was confused. Do I put the video up because the kid is a wacko trying to sound like a gansta or because he just so odd looking? Now the lurker must admit to some guilt. I felt weird for the guy and his deformity but then I came to the realization that he puts himself out there like the rest of the freak-os of the net and so he should not be offlimits. What do you think?

What a sweet and caring idea

Here is a link to a site where you can bet on how much longer Britney Spears will live. Yeesh.

What a holiday

Mrs Lurker and I went a trashin' last night. Our niece and nephew were also along for the ride and help. Now for the uninitiated trashing or gleaning is that act of going through other people's cast offs. Sometimes you find amazing stuff and sometimes you don't but it is always a lot of fun. Mrs. Lurker got a very old apple/wine press. I will get a photo on here soon. It is quite cool and ridiculously heavy. The Lurker on the other hand got this frightening articulated dummy that will come alive and kill me while I shower. I am at work and had to pull it out of the trunk for the picture. Not suspicious at all. While setting up the body for the photoshoot a young woman walks by and doesn't even give it a glance. The Lurker would have had to stop , ask questions, and take photos. We have two more weeks of trashin'. If the rain ever stops it should be a great event.

ramblings brought on because of lack of caffeine...oh boy

OK so the Lurker has been thinking about the rapture. Yes that rapture. There is a forum. I know right? I love that sentence. The Lurker doesn't use it but it makes him laugh. Most likely too much. Oh right...anyway the rapture. I read through this forum and they all think it is a comin' and it got me thinking that this could be a really good idea. Just in overpopulation alone it would be great. Also a lot of stalled legislation would go through much quicker. I know there to be bigger and better revelations here but the one major thing that would be awful is that the amount of crazy things I get to well...lurk through would go down and I would be forced to watch more cat videos than I already do. Not that this is a bad thing but it would definitely put a hole in my life as a lurker plus they would stop making those cool comics I collect whenever I am NYC. Thank you street saviors for your awesome reading material for the ride home. Oh and thank you to the wheelchair guy who sings in Chinatown.

So I just thought I would throw it out to you in the flux of cyberspace. Check the forum and see how fast they think it is going to happen.
I also just thought of all the free cars that would be available on the streets. The problem is that they are going to be hummers. Dammit!

One other sidenote or are they all sidenotes and this is the real point? Anyway go see Star Trek. If you haven't seen you are missing out. See it on the big screen. It really is worth it.

Lastly check here for a magical story about a man who just wants to be free. Gee whiz he is sexy!!

Have you ever wanted superpowers?

I recommend blowing this up so you can read the subtitles. The Lurker really enjoyed this.

Sometimes a smoke just relaxes you

I love that he goes back for one more drag like "yep you see that all the time around here."

Pregnant Women are Smug

Very catchy and you could dance to it. Of course if you are pregnant please have a seat and just listen quietly . On a side note I was at a yard sale the other day going through some boxes and found some equipment. I grabbed them and figured out what they were too late. It was a pair of used and uncleaned breast pumps........ick

You are doing it wrong

The Lurker was just visiting my local temple known as the Apple Store. I needed someone to coax an aged laptop back to existence. I was thwarted on that attempt. However I did have a bit of pleasure. I happen to be standing behind this guy while he was asking an Apple minion to help him. He explained his iPhone did not work and so he brought his computer in to explain the issue. As you can see his computer is made by Dell. The rep just kept saying why didn't you just bring your phone in? He seemed to be a wee bit confused by this new world. The Lurker fuzzed him out to protect his awesomeness.

A namesake dies

Yesterday the great actor David Carradine died. Too many of you he was just an actor but to the Lurker he was more. Many people believe that the Lurker was named after a movie but this is wrong. He was named for the little known television show named Shane. It was only on for one season with I think 13 episodes. My mother loved the show and so I was named.
Let the Lurker tell you about two shows.

• Kung fu, a show about a man in the west who walks into town, sees a problem, fights the bad men in slow motion fighting scenes, and the walks on with the towns new found respect for strangers.
• Shane, a show about a man in the west who rides into town, sees a problem, fights the bad men in slow motion fighting scenes, and the walks on with the towns new found respect for strangers.

Now I know you are saying these plots are similar but you are crazy. One is of a man walking and the other is of a man riding clearly two different shows.
Anyway enjoy this wonderful little clip of Shane and don't forget to say "Ah Grasshopper" (Kung-Fu reference) to someone today.

My little Pwnies

Mrs Lurker and I just moved a chair out the garage to be tossed because McGee, before she had died obviously, had peed in it. I decided to check the cushions for one last time just to see if there was anything good. You can never be sure in our house. We once found one of our cats in the cushions. The Lurker popped his hand in and out came a My Little Pony. We do not have a daughter but the Lurker is rather fond of action figures. However where this pony came from is anyone's guess. I very quickly put it back in the chair for the next owner to enjoy.

Disappointed consumer: Cap’n Crunch “Crunchberries” not real berries

Head over to this site to read the whole story.

It just takes one person to change the world

In this video you get to see an example of the old maxim. One person acting a bit like a freak inspires a bit of mockery at first and then he brings the change to everyone. You may want to skip a bit if you have the same attention span as the Lurker.

Two long time listeners and first time callers

So I have mentioned Zack (Zeke) before in reference to purchases of Jew Coke and his girlfriend Stephanie was the one taking the photo. Well they just put out some new books and I figured I would throw a plug their way.

• Zack has two comics coming out. Grune and and a compilation edition of Novasett Island. Check the link to see some really nice artwork. The Novasett poster is particularly nice. LINK
  
• Stephanie will be debuting a new book called Kung-Fu Mice. Unfortunately there is only one photo but what I saw I liked. LINK
  

Also they will be at the independent comic show MOCCA this weekend so if you want to see some great illustrations and I am sure some strangely dressed folks head on over.

Not sure how long this will last

The last time I saved this it just disappeared. This is a wonderful clip of one of the coolest scientists out there Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson. This is the model of the way a teacher should always sound.

Sorry about that

There is funny and then there is giggle funny.

uncomfortable...