Wednesday, September 16

The cream of the crop of dumb

Alright here goes. I have been collecting toys since I was a kid and one of the Lurker's hobbies is repairing the broken toys found at yard sales. So yesterday I needed a few extra pieces that are kept in a box. The box had been missing for some time and so I decided to hunt for it in the eves. It is really dark in there but I had my iphone and was prepared. I also leave the door open for extra light. Unfortunately the cats tend to wander up when they hear the door open and they scurry inside forcing me to wrangle them out of there. It is a dusty nasty job. So as I saw Silo approach. I did the only "intelligent" thing I could think of. I closed the door. I will repeat that. I closed the door. ah yes important fact missing here. I should add I was inside when I closed the door. cough...well....yes...and so I continued to search for the missing toys. It occurred to me that they could be down in the basement and that is when the Lurker realized how truly dumb he is. Yes dear reader as you could guess the lock is on the outside only. sigh...So I did the only sane thing I could do. I pleaded with my cat to open the door. I mean he wanted in and I wanted out so... but no it was not meant to be. Thankfully I had my cell and called my nephew, the skulker, and after a prolonged laugh he rushed over to the house. During the wait I learned several things. First Twitter is fun when stuck in an attic. Second it is really really hot in the eves. Thirdly and this is most important. One does not release methane when one is trapped in a small hot enclosed space. Yes that's correct I farted in my little cell and was forced to sit in my own stink. As I look back on my idiocy I now realize that we are all only one step off from becoming a bad sitcom plot device. 

one last thing I should add. The toys were in the basement. 


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