Tuesday, November 29

Big Nasty Couch

This is the couch someone found on the side of the road. It's the couch that required four people to get into the truck, and two people to sit in the back and make sure it didn't fall off. It's the couch that left a scratch on the door frame because it hardly fit through, heck they had to take the door frame off to fit the dang thing through. They never put it back. They plopped the BNC in front of their TV and invited 16 people over and all of them fit. When they moved, they tried to sell the couch for eight dollars. No one would buy it, so they put it out for free. That's when we found it and claimed it for our own. We've found things in here that we've never owned: remotes, peanuts, quarters, small animal skulls. Who knows what treasures we've left for you to unearth? If you're lucky, you may find a whole cat.

Anyone who looks at the BNC can see it's no stranger to fornication. It couldn't be. Its four feet of depth and eight feet of length are solid couch-y goodness. You can't blame a body. The BNC was built for macking. And if you think so too, you're surely in 2 decades of good company.

Maybe this couch has seen better days. Or then again, maybe it hasn't. The BNC is like a fine wine, getting better with age. Think of it as the compost bin of the furniture realm. It's where you dump your laundry, your bags, yourself at the end of a long day. You let it swallow you whole and you emerge humbled, softened, earthy smelling, like a rich humus. You sit on the BNC, and you are better for it. So, it's not our nicest piece of furniture? Well, it's definitely the biggest.

Do you have to pay for the BNC? No! The BNC is free. In fact, since we are all about full service, your first bout of BNC entertainment is included: we'll hide some spare change in the cushions and you can look for it. Gloves recommended.

Can you handle a Big Nasty Couch? Well, come and get it already. Big Nasty Transportation not included. Seriously, bring a big truck.
Location: South Eugene/LCC
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