Thursday, May 5

Randomness, notes and to dos

This has nothing to do with anything
Dearest Lurkerites,
The lurker doesn't feel well because of this very dumb weather. Storm/perfect/storm/cold/hot and all that is in 45 minutes. It's screwing with my antennae that make my migraines. I could write all the stuff below on my personal Facebook page but my friends must be sick of me pissing and moaning so you get it. sorry. Some of it makes sense. I fear a lot doesn't because the pressure of the weather is making me feel like I drank all night and I still haven't shook it off. So this is just crap I need to get out of my head before it ...enjoy?
Me personally I would skip it.

  • I need a shirt that states clearly "unfit for the human race"
  • I'll make you a deal, you get to see the Osama photos you so desperately want to see but the deal is you have to look through 31 photos of your parents having sex. The raunchy kind. Still want em?
  • When I get out of the passing lane to let you pass and you are going to give me the "look" that says who is in my lane bitches the least you could do is smile
  • Why do schmuck assholes wake up feeling great and everyday I feel like this.
  • Why does the iPhone change "acknowledge" to Sonia Ed? Who the hell is that?
  • Note: My eyes make squishy sounds that others can hear in Starbucks. If you do this enough times they will not sit on the same couch with you anymore
  • Todo: get the Lurkerites on the ballot this year
  • Note: cats will win in a stubborn contest because they forget
  • If you are a woman and leave the house looking like a transvestite rethink your outfit and makeup
  • If you are a transvestite and you look like a woman when leaving the house congrats.
  • Note: do not ask to rearrange people in order of height when they are ordering coffee in the morning
  • Why in the hell are mourning and morning homophones? They really should be different sounding words all together
  • Todo: Re-listen to the fatboys version of wipeout... Not sure why
  • Do not exchange the word vagina for pussy in pussy footing around. It will make people feel weird
  • Note: do not intentionally click on links that will infect myself and                                         others...Eventhough in a side ways that would be funny
  • Do I dress like Thor for the opening? Do I have the legs?
  • Note: don't bring chalk to Starbucks thinking it would be fun to set
  • up a hopscotch field... They will not cut you off
  • I am frightened by the man that when asked "how ya doing?" replies sore from sex. I will not shake hands with him. Why are his hands so damn callused?
  • Going to circus at a convention center seems so strange. Where is the romanticism?
  • Both octopi and vampires suck!
  • Grace van Custem is Awesome!

No comments:

Post a Comment