Tuesday, April 27

ewwwwwwww! Why would he want it back?

philadelphia craigslist> personals> missed connections
You stuck my flash drive in your vagina - m4w - 25 (philadelphia)
Date: 2010-04-20, 3:04PM EDT

You stuck my flash drive in your vagina. If you are reading this, you know who you are. I don’t think this is a fad sweeping the city, so this one’s for you.

  1. We met at a Millcreek Tavern. You said you were from Lancaster. You were beautiful, you liked me. It was perfect. But then…
  2. We went back to my apartment. We watched The Breakfast Club. You had never seen it before. We then ended up in my bed, as planned. And had sex, as planned.
  3. You looked beautiful half covered in my sheets when I left to use the bathroom. When I came back, this is what I saw:
  4. You standing naked at my computer. You with your hand on the keyboard, not typing. You grabbing the flash drive.
  5. The flash drive pops out.
  6. You look at it.
  7. You squat a little bit.
  8. You insert it into your vagina, like a tampon.
  9. I am speechless.
  10. You proceed to get dressed, say you have to go home, and leave. The number you gave me doesn’t work.
  11. I am confused. I’d like to see you again. I’d like to see my flash drive again.
  12. Your name is Rebecca. You have long blond hair.
  13. Please get in touch. I am a very understanding person.

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